Cheese with that Whine

If you know me well, you know that I struggle hard with Kynzie these days. The girl has me in tears almost on a daily basis. We butt heads and a lot of times it's because she's like me in a lot of ways. For example, when she asks for something to be done, she wants it done immediately. I feel like I've tried everything with her to get her to listen and stop whining. I've read books on it lately, asked other moms for advice, tried reward systems, given her more sleep, more food & drink, etc. Nothing helps. Shane and I aren't against spankings but aren't crazy about the concept either. It's really a last resort for us. We also don't want to be the parents that just yell all the time. We've realized lately that that's exactly who we have become. So we are trying really hard to remedy the situation and give her whatever it is she's needing. Rather than just punishing her for whining, we're trying to figure out WHY she's whining. (Holy smokes, parenting is tough.)

Anyway! I'm getting to my point I promise.

My sweet, fun-loving, easy-going, charming little boy Brantley has some mad anger issues. Like if you tell him the grass is indeed green and not blue like he's insisting, he hulks out. To the point of being hilarious and Shane and I often look at eachother like "What is happening right now?!" And at that point the best thing we've learned to do is just leave him alone until he's done morphing and his head stops spinning around.

Well when he gets mad at Kynzie he clenches his fists and starts screaming in her face like a drill sergeant. He did this yesterday, so I pulled him aside and explained to him why yelling is not effective. I told him that talking with people calmly (notice I said talking "with" and not "to") usually gets them to listen whereas yelling at them makes them angry and causes them to stop listening. At this point in the conversation I realized that I was talking more to myself than to my son. Who, at this point was looking at me like "what the heck is she saying? Is she still talking?" I realized that when I yell at Kynzie she's not feeling respected. Exactly how I feel when she's yelling at me. Shane and I very, very rarely fight but when we do, and one of us starts yelling, the other person shuts the conversation down. They check out. They're done. They know the yelling person needs time to cool off.

So since realizing this, I've tried a whole new approach with Kynz. Even if I know what she's about to say, I listen to the entirety of it. Start to finish. Even if my eyes are bugging out of my head because she's taking 5 minutes to explain the same dang thing over and over. And when she gets all worked up mid-sentence, I reassure her, and say "I'll wait for you." When she's done, I repeat what she said (in a shortened version of course) and then I address it. Holy cow what a change I've seen in this girl since doing this. I can finally stand being in the same room as her! I know that sounds horrible but I'm just being real here. Don't act like yoh haven't felt that way before as a parent. We all have.

I'm finally starting to find joy in my daughter. Granted she's still doing some whining, but Rome wasn't built in a day. We're making progress and that's all that matters.

So I want to encourage you to get to the root of the problem. WHY is your kid doing what they're doing? Do you make them feel respected and heard? Or are you making them feel belittled and lost in the shuffle?

Along with this, we are putting more time and effort into her. We are reading to her more, playing with her more, talking to her about her feelings and her day, etc. We are functioning as a family unit, a team. And man we have missed each other.

Lately

It has come to my realization recently that I like routine. Which kinda stinks because that can get pretty boring. But whatever.
So Makynzie's routine at 7.5 months is....


Between 7-7:30 she wakes up, She watches cartoons while I get dressed and make her a bottle. Then I get her dressed and give her her reflux medicine and vitamin d. At 9am she gets breakfast. Which is usually a pureed fruit with Mixed Grains or Oatmeal mixed in it (I rotate them.) But now I'm starting to give her some table food with it, like cut up bananas, kiwi, blueberries, raspberries, avacado, etc. At 10am she goes down for a nap. If she wakes up I give her 15-20 min to fuss it out and fall back asleep. If she doesn't, I get her up. At noon she gets a bottle. She goes down for her second nap when it's been 3 hours after she woke up from the previous one. She gets another bottle at 4ish and then take a short nap in the early evening, usually around 5. We don't let her sleep any later than 6. When she gets up she gets dinner, which is usually a pureed vegetable, meat, and barley or rice cereal mixed in. But now I'm introducing table foods like peas, bread, green beans, noodles, etc. Then we give her her night's dose of reflux medicine and offer her a bottle around 7:30 but she usually only drinks about half of it. Then she goes down for bed at 8. If she wakes up in the night we let her cry it out, which happens between 4am and 5am almost every morning. But she only fusses for about 5 minutes and then knocks back out.


So anyways! That's where we're at. Aside from that- I have found a new hobby that I can't. get. enough. of. Couponing. It's so simple and I have already saved us hundreds in the last 2 months. The only thing I need to work on is not buying something JUST because it's a good deal. Like did I really need those 4 cans of crushed pineapple? Probably not. Now that my friend Melissa told me about Coupon Mom, I have that do all the work for me but I didn't used to. So all I did was this:


1- I decided where I'm going to shop. I chose Harris Teeter and CVS because we live a stone's throw from them and that way I only use a small amount of gas when I go grocery shopping. And if I walk I can but I just haven't had the energy lately. Therefore the only inserts in the Sunday paper that I keep are CVS and the circulars (Red Plum, Smart Source, and P&G.) All the other inserts get thrown away.


2- Every Sunday I went to Harris Teeter's site and made my shopping list based off of what's on sale in the weekly specials.


3- Then I went through the coupons and clipped the coupons that went with the weekly specials.


Having said that, now I just use Coupon Mom. Thanks Melissa!
And Shane and Kynzie come with me when I shop so that Shane and I are on the same page as far as what's a deal, and what's not. For example, if I see that the generic brand of toilet paper is cheaper than what it will cost after I use my coupon on the Charmin, I get the generic.


But this is SO addicting! I totally get a rush at the checkout line every time. :o) I'm also keeping track of how much I save every trip so I can keep myself motivated when I don't feel like couponing. (Which hasn't happened yet)


Shane and I do several things to save money. We only turn on the heat/ac when absolutely necessary. We combine our errands in a way to save gas. We don't wash each article of clothing after a single use. We don't eat out. Ever. We have date nights in instead of date nights out. We save change. We buy everything we need for Makynzie used. I make her food. etc. So couponing is just another way to save!

Get it now. Don't think about it. Do it.

You will understand the title if you are a fan of "The Office."
Anyway, there's nothing I love more than blogs other moms post listing stuff that makes their lives with babies easier. Then I buy the recommended items and Aha! They make my life easier as well. I also want to remember these items for my future bambinos and I have horribleterrible memory so hopefully this will help as long as I remember I documented them on here....

This item is the bee's knees. I am borrowing it from my sister in law and it's such a blessing to my mommy life. I can put Kynz in it and watch the Ellen show clean the apartment or pee without a baby whining at me playing with the lotion bottle on the floor mat. But I'm a strong believer in buying nothing new when you have a baby. They will outgrow it in 5.443756 minutes and you can buy it used for a small fraction of the price at a consignment sale with twice as many germs as it would have new. And germs are good. :-)


Jump for Lights and Music Jumperoo


This next one looks like a huge gimmick/dog toy but I assure you it is not. Makynzie gets so excited over this thing she probably pees herself (can't see through the diaper to know for sure), it calms her "They are driving me to Baby Torture Land" car seat anxiety and soothes her teething pains. Who can say "no thanks" to all that? Also, my dogs now have another goal to mark off their bucket list. I think it goes something like this, "Chew the pillow corners, eat my weight in table scraps, lick every inch of the coffee table, shed every hair on my body, GET A HOLD OF SOFIE THE GIRAFFE." Buy it for your dog baby and you will see what I mean. You will.



Sofie the Giraffe Teether


This thing keeps Kynz occupied for 10-15 minutes at a time. Only downside is it's incredibly messy so we put a bib on her and keep wipes handy when we give it to her. And the only food that's mushy enough to work really well with it is bananas. Avocados probably would work well too but she doesn't care for them.


Mesh Teething Baby Feeder



If you have a baby who thinks the car seat is straight out of hell itself, this toy will help make hell a little more bearable. Betcha didn't know that was possible. It is with this thing. Granted the baby in the picture needs to have Go-go gadget arms to reach it with how high it's cruel parents placed it....




Bright Starts Hop Along Carrier Toy Bar



And the last thing I'll leave you with is this obnoxious talking dog. You hook her up to the computer and program your baby's name, favorite food, color, and pick from a wide variety of songs it will play. The dog sounds demonic when it says "Kynzie" but whatever, it makes her smile. And it plays like 5 different lullabies to put her to sleep. You'll know why I call it obnoxious when you hear it hiccup. But you win, Violet. You are a good thing.




Leap Frog My Pal Violet



So there ya have it. Now your baby daddies can't hate me. I bet if Shane had a quarter for every time I have said, "But we have to get it for her! So-and-so highly recommends it and it got great reviews!" we would be able to actually afford the gimmicks cool stuff I find. Get it now. Don't think about it. Do it.

Our Wedding

I need to vent a little so bear with me.

Our wedding was perfect. It was simple, casual, fun, and relaxed. So many things went wrong that no one noticed. Which is so funny to me. Like I failed to put 2 or 3 people up on the seating chart (one of which got bitter over it which is really stupid), I couldn't find my keys for like 20 minutes before getting into my dress, I got lipstick all over my dress, I didn't have a toss bouquet, the wagon with the wedding party in it circled around the guests twice instead of stopping where we were supposed to take pictures, I almost forgot to grab my bouquet from Amber for the processional, whoever had my vows didn't remember to give them to the pastor so my brother had to run them up to the dock at the last second, the ringbearers refused to walk down the aisle, silas & kynzie went down the aisle to my song, shane and i held hands when we were supposed to link arms, i was stressing because apparently there was some provocative dancing and wardrobe issues on the dance floor, shane and i stood behind the mike instead of in front of it, the beer was out before we even got back from pictures (thanks to the guys who just stood by the bar and guzzled so the rest of the guests couldn't have any, including the bride & groom. nice.), makynzie wasn't handed to us for the processional or the reception entrance, and i could probably go on and on. But these things seriously didn't matter. Our day was perfect. We had a blast.

Having said that, we are so glad it's over. :-) We were so tired of planning and there was so much drama. I was running around with my head cut off when all I wanted was to just enjoy the day. Yep, people are mad at me for petty reasons. We didn't sit at their table long enough, they didn't hold Kynzie long enough, they were seated next to someone they didn't like, they didn't see us while they were in town except for the wedding day, we didn't invite their 5th cousin (exaggeration), etc etc. My response: cry about it. Just kidding. But seriously. My feelings were super hurt the week following. A LOT of "friends'" true colors came out. People didn't show up, people made obvious lies as to why they couldn't make it, people were rude, and some people had no class. Friends even LEFT because the beer ran out.
Unnamed "friend": Hey we're leaving
Shane & I: Oh really? How come? The reception just started!
"Friend": (in a "duh" tone) There's no more beer....
Ok cool. The door is right there. And while you're at it, suck my big toe.

We moved from Hendersonville to get away from the drama. About a month before the wedding we were nostalgic. We missed "Hendo" and the familiarity of it all. Yea.... needless to say we had a lot of reminders while we were there as to why we moved in the first place.

But whatever. All that to say, the venue was breath-taking, our photographer was incredible, and the day was exactly what we envisioned for our dream wedding. Thank you to everyone who had a hand in that.

I remember what sleep is!

I am on top of the world. Like I suddenly feel like I just might be a good thing for my daughter. Just kidding... kind of... not really. But my sweet, horrible sleeper, adorable child slept through the night. I think I hear angels singing. I finally have a glint of hope that maybe I will see sleep again. (45 Minute Intruder, don't you dare read this and ruin this for me.)

The last few days have gone something like this:
-Thursday I have an epiphane. Maybe, just maybe, my child needs consistency. (Durrrr) Maybe she needs a schedule. Not just a pattern, but a schedule. (If that word could show up on this page in gold and flash and twinkle, I would totally do it. But alas it will not, so red lettering will have to do.) Anycrap, back to my life-changing epiphane. Maybe Shane and I need to stop being selfish and adjust our lives to our daughter's needs rather than our own. That would just be craaaaazy as parents, right? Well.... I ran with this. I said Ok Shane, here's the deal (No I am not bossy. Ok maybe a lot- But my husband just happens to be very go-with-the-flow and he totally trusts my mothering and is just as red-eyed and sleep-deprived as I am):
She gets up at 7. She nurses at 7, then eats her fruit & oatmeal at 8. She goes down for a nap at 8:30. She is up at 9:30 (yes I believe in waking a sleeping baby). She nurses at 11 and is down for her second nap at 11:30. She is up at 1:30. She nurses at 3. She goes down for her last nap at 3:30. She is up at 5. She eats her veggies & rice at 5. She nurses at 7. She goes to bed at 8 and gets a dream feed at 11 before I go to bed. And that sounds complicated but it's actually pretty simple. She nurses every 4 hours and goes down for each nap 2 hours after waking from the previous one. NO exceptions.

You read right. That has meant: When our friends ask us to hang out at 7pm, we are home by 7:45 to put Makynzie down for bed.  When our friends ask us to go to lunch at 11am, we regretfully decline because Kynzie takes her nap at 11:30. If she is to be in the car for more than 20 minutes, it has to be after 3:30. When she goes down for sleep, we do the same thing each time. I change her diaper, close the curtains, put her in her sleep sack, give her a paci, turn on the fan, read her 2 books, lay her on her tummy in the crib, kiss her eye lids (she loves that), and walk out. That seems like a lot but it's only like a 7 minute process. I read in several moms' blogs that it's important to help the baby relax before going down. So true. I can't put her down to sleep after doing the most exciting thing ever with her. Also, I keep her brain busy between each nap. I read to her a lot, I give her a commentary on everything we do AND why we do it, we go for walks, we go to the pool, we sit at the window and talk about everything going on outside, she "helps" me clean, she has tummy time, she works on sitting by herself, she has time to play independently while I do something else, etc.

I know what you're thinking- "You need to be flexible, babies need to also adjust to your schedule." and "Wow Katy, you're like a drill sargeant." Yes and no. See, Shane and I used to say those things. While I was pregnant we said we would bring the portable crib wherever we went and put Kynz down when she got tired, and she would adjust to our plans, etc. In a perfect world, yea that would be great. But that crap just doesn't work. It just doesn't. It has taken me this long to get over the fact that we had Kynzie unplanned. So inevitably, she is going to change our lives whether we were ready for a kid or not. And I have to be careful not to resent her for that.

I also gave her 4 oz of formula last night at 7pm and 11pm and she slept from 8pm til 6am. What the what? Yea it was amazing. When I woke up at 5am and frantically checked the monitor, only to see her sleeping- I felt so overwhelmed with how proud I was of her that I couldn't go back to sleep for like 30 minutes. Shane even said, "Is she still asleep???!" and I said, "Yes!! She is!!" So to recap, with our new-found schedule, her naps have been longer and less dramatic, her mood has improved while she is awake, and she is eating better. Granted we have had to turn down some plans with friends, but they totally understand and it's so worth it. We are well-rested today and better parents because of it.

SUCCESS. (Here's to hoping this sticks....)

Ode to Coffee

Coffee makes me the productive person I should be. It's so hard to grasp because I hate things like caffeine, sugar, medicine, junk food, etc. But I found something that makes me productive and positive. And that's like liquid gold to me.

Things coffee has helped me accomplish today:
- Try all Kynzie's outfits on her to see what still fits
- Go through her old stuff for things friends have said they need
- Switch out all her books
- Clean
- Make a Wish List
- Make a budget list
- Find fall crafts I want to do
- Play with Kynz outside
- Break out some of my fall decor

And it's only 2pm ladies and gents. I'm unstoppable.

"I do. There. Ok let's move on...."

I will try so hard not to mutter those words on my wedding day. I will also try really hard not to put a paper bag over my head or take too many shots before walking down the aisle. I should have just included an insert with the invitations that said "Terms and Conditions: I will NOT look at the bride the entire day of the wedding. Do you accept these terms and conditions? Ok you can come." I.......HATE..... THIS.
I hate tradition. I hate formality. And I hate big groups of people. Ok now what does that spell??! W-E-D-D-I-N-G.Yep not a fan. I begged, BEGGED Shane for a courtroom wedding. Who can beat getting married for only twenty bucks? Shot down. So we have done our very best to make this overrated party casual. "*CASUAL DRESS" is in the invitation, lawn games, cattle, and a keg of Blue Moon will be included. The wedding party is wearing flip flops, the girls will be in Walmart sundresses (that's how I roll), and the dudes will be wearing polos. I will not have a veil, we will not have a wedding cake, and I will not be walking down the aisle to a classical version of Canon in D. Sorry folks. Not my style.
I am dreading this day without dreading this day. I can't wait to marry my best friend and reunite with old family and friends. All the other stuff are just details and will probably go unnoticed. Do you un-married people realize the decisions that go into a wedding? Holy geez. "Kate what color do you want this to be? What size do you want this to be? How many of these do you want? Where do you want him/her to stand? How will you do this? What time will this be?" AHHHHHH!!! Let's just wing it and pretend like we all know what we're doing. Bless my mother. She is working so hard and it's her top priority to see to it that I have my dream wedding. But Mom, my dream wedding is in the courthouse. ;-) Just kidding. Kind of. The stress is not so much from this stuff for me. The stress is what will we do with the dogs? Will Kynzie sleep? Will people realize "Oh, that baby has stranger anxiety. I should WALK AWAY."? Will people try to feed my baby their food? (Don't you dare.) Will the guests be comfortable? Will they feel awkward around people they don't know? Will they like the food? Will they notice how unorganized we are? Will they get our sense of humor?

So here's to you Wedding Day, you win.