Makynzie's Birth Story

Whew, this is going to be difficult to recall and type out. Not only because I have a sleeping newborn in my lap, but also because I am a basket case of emotions today. But I have a lot of people asking for Kynzie's birth story and I know I will want to remember it all someday so I need to type it out while I can still remember the details. So here goes...

Though I'm not completely positive exactly when I went into labor, I want to say it was Monday night. I went to bed experiencing dull contractions. They didn't hurt, but my belly would tighten up and get as hard as a rock. At the time I had no idea they were contractions. I was texting Jennifer Kehoe and Jen Quirk telling them exactly what I was feeling and what I should do about it. I was telling myself over & over again that they weren't the real thing and the true test would be going to sleep and seeing if they kept me up or if I could sleep through them. I totally slept through them. Shane and I were so disappointed the next morning. I went through the next day having contractions anywhere from one minute to thirty minutes apart. They still didn't hurt. When they went away I would get super upset. I was so tired of being pregnant. They continued through the night and then Wednesday they got pretty intense. I was scheduled to be induced that night so Shane took the day off so he could clean and get the apartment ready for the baby and his family. At this point they felt like much more than an intense period cramp. My entire belly would get so hard that it wasn't round when I was contracting, it was a square and I remember joking with Shane about it. They got to be pretty painful and started coming much closer together, though still random. I told Shane I thought we should go to the doctor because I had a feeling it was the real thing though I still wasn't sure. Ya know how they say "Oh you'll know when it's the real thing."? Yea.... I never did. We went to the doctor and she confirmed that I was in "early, early labor" but I was still completely closed. She told us to go home and walk like crazy to get things progressing and come back in at 4:00. We went out to eat at a nearby Mexican restaurant and I remember saying to Shane "Isn't it crazy I'm in labor right now and no one in this room knows??! I wonder how often that happens!" Then we went home, walked, I showered, cleaned, hung out with Shane's sister, etc. We went back in and much to my disappointment, I had made zero progress. They told me we would keep the induction appointment at 6:30. So we went home again and this time got our bags and loaded up the car.

We were so excited on our way to the hospital. I remember Shane being super giddy talking to the nurses and hospital staff as I checked in. We finally got our room and waited about an hour for the nurse to come in. She said that around 9pm we would start a foley bulb. The plan was that I would get the foley bulb and then some Ambien so that I could get a good night's sleep as they were going to start the Pitocin in the morning. They put in the bulb (surprisingly it didn't hurt at all) and they said they would bring me the Ambien whenever I was ready for it. I wanted to make it til at least 10:30 so that I could see the new "16 and Pregnant" episode. :) It got to be about 10:00 and I was having horrible back pain. I asked the nurse for something for the pain. She gave it to me, and let me tell ya, I was high as a kite. It felt like I had just smoked a bowl. Shane and I played Phase 10 and I tried my best to act coherent. I knocked out after a couple hours and the nurse said it was too late to do Ambien because I would be too hungover in the morning. I woke up at about 2am and there was NO going back to sleep. I was having insane back pain and my contractions were really starting to hurt. The nurse came back in at 5am (after not checking on me all night) and said we may as well start the Pitocin if I was awake anyway. So they started me on a really low dose. At this point I was in a looooot of pain. They took me off the Pit because I was making enough progress on my own.

By 8am I was in ridiculous pain. My mom came to lend support. She held one hand while Shane held the other. I am a complete wimp so I'm still surprised how calm I stayed during my contractions. I concentrated hard on my breathing. I need to add that Shane was an amazing coach. My coping mechanism was to breathe in long and slow, and like an owl, say "oooooooo" as I breathed out. I probably sounded ridiculous. I remember looking at Shane and asking him if he thought I should keep going naturally or get the epidural so I could enjoy our daughter's labor. I decided to get the epi. And later thanked GOD I did. I was completely pain-free til about 2pm. Shane and I played Phase 10, watched tv, and joked around during that time. But around 2pm I started having excruciating back pain. I mean the worst pain I could ever imagine. So they started a bolus a few times to help me through the pain. And they helped but the pain was still unbearable. I was holding tightly onto Shane and my mom and crying and screaming through the back pain.

Finally my nurse came in at about 9pm and checked me one last time. I was 7cm but Kynzie still hadn't come down the birth canal and was sunny side up. She was facing my pubic bone instead of my butt and I was spiking a fever. The midwife gave me two options, "You can wait another hour and see if she turns and comes down. And if she doesn't, you'll have an emergency C-section and she will have to be in the NICU for a couple days. Or you can just have a C-section right now." So we decided on the C-section right then. Shane was so terrified of surgery that he started bawling. I had had surgery several times in the past and was just ready to get the baby out and be out of pain. They told me I wouldn't feel anything but pressure during the procedure. They said my surgeon would be the one on call and that he was a big teddy bear and known for how kind and gentle he was. Apparently his other job was artificially inseminating gorillas at the zoo. No joke. So he came in to meet us and we loved him. He was a big black dude with braces and very sweet. :)

They rolled me back to the operating room and during this time Shane got all suited up to come back with me. Poor guy was scared to death and he had to wait for them to prep me for at least 15 minutes. They laid me down stark naked on a super thin operating table. I'm talkin, I felt like if I sneezed, my gigantic pregnant self would roll of the table. It was so awkward laying there in the nude with my arms straight out on each side. Not to mention my legs were still completely numb. They increased the epidural until I could no longer feel the coldness of the alcohol pad on my belly. They finally brought Shane in and he was still super nervous. He kept asking me if I was ok and if I needed anything. I was all smiles because I was just ready to get this baby out of me, and I knew I needed to act strong and completely carefree for Shane. I remember my back pain staying consistent up until the second I felt her pull them out of me. And boy did I feel it. Through the whole surgery I felt pulling, tugging, and horrible pressure on my chest as they pushed her down to pull her out. I can still remember what it felt like when they got her head out. The whole time I had an awesome nurse behind me explaining everything they were doing. I don't know what I would have done without her. I remember her saying "She's out! She's gorgeous." And I kept asking her if Kynzie was ok.

Finally I heard my sweet daughter's cry and started crying myself. Shane said "Katy do you need me to stay here with you or can I go look at her?" and I told him I was fine he could go look at her. My only complaint at that time was the epidural was making my shoulders shake violently and it gave me a horrible knot in my shoulder blade that was throbbing. Shane came back pouring tears with a picture of her on his phone and said "Katy she's beautiful. She's perfect. And she has.....red... hair?" haha. She was blonde, but the blood in her hair made it look strawberry blonde. They brought her over to Shane and he held her cheek against mine. I'll be honest. I was just ready to get off the operating table and get my shoulder to stop throbbing. It took them about 20 minutes to stitch me back up and it was the longest 20 minutes of my life. They wheeled me back to my room and said Kynzie should be bathed and back there by the time we got there. Wrong. We had to wait about an hour and a half. Shane was so impatient, he was asking the nurse if she could go tell them to hurry up. He was mad that it was taking them that long. I really didn't mind at the time because I was still shaking so bad from the meds that I knew I wouldn't be able to hold her for a while. But they eventually brought her in and I forced myself to stop shaking so I could hold her.

At that time I cried over the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I had been in labor for 38 hours and my sweet Makynzie Jude was finally in my arms. I love her so much it hurts.

Makynzie Jude Wilkinson
8 lbs. 20 1/2 inches.
3/16/11 10:07pm

I'm ok with it.

What do these things have in common?

Pineapple
Walking
Castor Oil
Intercourse
Spicy Foods
Primrose Oil
Black & Blue Cohosh
Eggplant
Accupressure
Bouncing on the birthing ball

You might say "Ways to induce labor." And you would be.... wrong. They are ways to PROGRESS labor. It has taken me nearly 2 weeks to come to this realization, regardless of how many people told me. Now, having said that, I have only "tried" 6 of these. In fact, 2 of them I would never think of doing as they could cause serious harm to my baby, and that ain't worth it!
This is my decision to relax and let go. Right now my sweet daughter knows what is best for her better than I do. (You will never hear me say that again ;-)) I am making the conscious decision to believe that she will come when she wants to. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not against induction. My midwife plans to induce me next Friday if I haven't gone into labor by then. Yes, I prefer that she decide when she comes, but my doctor believes it is in her best interest to give her one more week tops.

I am so surprised and disheartened by all of the discouraging, negative, and downright MEAN things other moms have said to me throughout this pregnancy that I am doing everything differently with the next one. Shane and I will be the only ones to know her name, if we're opting for or out of the epidural, if we're cloth diapering, if I'm breastfeeding, etc. If you can't be happy for us, then why share our hopes & plans with you?

Anyway! Back to what I was saying. I am going to try to find some peace and contentment within myself, and say "I'm still pregnant, and I'm ok with it." You may be reading this thinking I'm overreacting (and maybe I am) but you're not me. I am a very emotional, impatient person and I have a very low tolerance for pain. That's not a good mix for a pregnant woman. Back pain, discomfort, hip pain, her painful movements, waking up in pools of sweat, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, swollen hands & feet, heartburn, sleep deprivation, shortness of breath etc are only a few of the symptoms I'm ready to bid adieu. I realize that having a newborn will be no piece of cake either. But at least I'll have a face to put to this baby's name! :)

Doesn't mean I'm thrilled about it and doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer to have my child in my arms, but I'm still pregnant, and I'm ok with it.

Bored

Shane's doing homework, I'm waiting on brownies in the oven, & I'm super sick of TV. So I stole this from Whitney. Thanks Whit :)

001. Real name → Kaitlyn Claire Baehr

002. Nickname(s)→ Katy

003. Zodiac sign → Libra

004. Male or female → female

005. Elementary → home-schooled

006. Middle School → home-schooled/ faith christian school

007. High School → hcs

008. Hair color → dirty blonde

009. Long or short → medium

010. Loud or Quiet → most people will say Loud

011. Sweats or Jeans → jeans

012. Phone or Camera → camera

013. Health freak → in progress

014. Drink or Smoke? → no smoking

015. Do you have a crush on someone? → yes, his name is gerard

016. Eat or Drink - drink

017. Piercings → ears

018. Tattoos → not yet

HAVE YOU EVER?

019. Been in an airplane→ will be in october!

020. Been in a relationship → married

021. Been in a car accident → three of them

022. Been in a fist fight → nope

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → ears (13 years old)

024. First best friend → patrick morin, laura beth

025. First award → gymnastics and swimming

026. First crush → I remember it too well, Sascha Peshel

028. First big vacation → Disney World or Pennsylvania

LASTS:

029. Last person you talked to → Benjamin (my son)

030. Last person you texted → Mindy Mayfield

031. Last person you watched a movie with → Derrick and my mom

032. Last food you ate → a donut :)

033. Last movie you watched → Social Network

034. Last song you listened to → Kelly Clarkson - Moment like this

035. Last thing you bought → Redbox movies

036. Last person you hugged → Benjamin again :)

FAVES:

037. Food → Cheesy Gordita Crunch

038. Drinks → SUN DROP!!!

039. Clothing → Rue 21 or Maurices

040. Book → right now... Vampire Academy Series

041. Music → Colbie Caillat and Gavin Degraw

042. Flower → white rose and lilacs

043. Colors → blue

044. Movie → Romeo and Juliet, My Fair Lady, Australia, Harry Potter

045. Positions → Excuse me?

046. Subjects → in school, definitely History

IN 2011..... I:

047. [ ] kissed in the snow

048. [x]celebrated Halloween

049. [ ] had your heart broken

050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone

051. [ ]someone questioned your sexual orientation

052. [ ]came out of the closet

053. [ ] gotten pregnant

054. [ ] had an abortion

055. [x] done something you've regretted.

056. [x] broke a promise

057. [x] hid a secret

058. [x] pretended to be happy

059. [ ] met someone who changed your life

060. [x] pretended to be sick

061. [ ] left the country

062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it

063. [x] cried over the silliest thing

064. [ ] ran a mile

065. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)

066. [ ] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:

067. Eating → nothing

068. Drinking → cranberry juice

069. I'm about to → go to sleep, put Benji back to bed

070. Listening to → Shrek playing on the tv

071. Plans for today → lots, go to tiffs, pick up Gabe, get car title and passports(whew)

072. Waiting for → my faith to prove true

YOUR FUTURE:

073. Want kids? → I have enough thank you :)

074. Want to get married? → Been there, done that, bought that t-shirt :)

075. Careers in mind → Nursing, photography

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?

076. Lips or eyes → eyes.

077. Shorter or taller? → Def taller

078. Romantic or spontaneous → little bit of both

079. Nice stomach or nice arms → Both

080. Sensitive or loud → sensitive but not too sensitive

081. Hook-up or relationship --> relationship

082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → in between

HAVE YOU EVER:

083. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes

084. Ran away from home → Does getting married count? :)

085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → Nope

086. Killed somebody → Hm, no

087. Broken someone's heart → Too many a times

088. Been arrested → Nope

089. Cried when someone died → Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

090. Yourself → On occasion

091. Miracles → i do

092. Love at first sight → I did

093. Heaven → yes!

094. Santa Claus → No, but I think it's a fun tradition

095. Sex on the first date → Nope

096. Kiss on the first date → Unfortunately, I have but I do not think it's a good idea

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → I already am with them

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → In some aspects yes. I am happy with the family and friends I have, career not so much. Working on it.

099. Do you believe in God → Yes I do!

Thankful Thursday

I was feeling pretty discouraged this morning after something someone said to me yesterday so I decided I'd list in my head things I have to be thankful for. I was quite surprised at how much I came up with!

- We have a group of friends here that I feel like I have known my whole life. They are warm and accepting, caring, and REAL.

- The only debt we have is my $500 student loan. And not once have we been late on a payment for a single bill.

- Shane just got a dollar raise and his boss is switching him to salary in a few months.

- My fiance' and I can make healthy babies and I can carry them full term. :)

- We have two vehicles that are completely paid off.

- We have spent VERY little money on this baby because we have incredibly supportive friends and family.

- Our apartment could not get any cleaner or more organized.

* So there are definitely more, but I'd say that's a pretty good list from the top of my head. *

:-)

Precious Sleep

One of the things I have always wanted to change about myself is the kind of sleeper I am. LIGHT. I'm a sleep snob. I have to have absolute pitch blackness, and no noise except for the white noise of the fan which I cannot sleep without.

Shane, on the other hand, is the kind of sleeper I want to be. The TV could be blasting, the sun shining on his face, I could be talking to him, and he can just tell himself to go to sleep- and do it in a matter of five minutes. And I'm allowed to hate him for this. :-) Not a night goes by where he doesn't get angry at me for needing the noise of the fan. "Kynzie will NOT be dependent on the fan." He says it will make life harder, like traveling. Because we will always have to bring a fan with us. And I guess he's right. So I tried a few times throughout the pregnancy to ween myself from my "fan-dependency," but halfway through the night, I got so tired of tossing and turning and paying attention to every little sound, that I gave up and begged Shane to let me give in and turn on my precious fan.

I have heard so many different things about sleep when I have a newborn. How I should say goodbye to sleep, sleep when she sleeps, take naps during the day, get her on a routine so I can get myself on a routine, etc. But had someone told me the kind of sleep I'd be getting (or should I say not getting) at this point in the pregnancy, I wouldn't have believed them. I believed they were right and for the last few weeks I'd be super uncomfortable trying to sleep, but it's not that simple. I toss and turn allllll night long. And I find myself soaked in pools of sweat, even if it's 40 degrees outside and the window is open. But what I wasn't prepared for, is I wake up every hour or so WIDE awake. Like I had just slept for days. Getting up with Shane at 6am after a night of no sleep is a piece of cake. And it's sooo frustrating! I've also heard, "Oh you'll be so sleep-deprived you'll be able to sleep through more than you can now." I call bluff on that one. Overtired is just as bad as not tired at all. I used to work nights, and even after 6 months of it, if I hadn't slept in days, it was still nearly impossible to lull myself to sleep.

I guess this is my body getting ready for baby girl's feedings. Regardless, I have maybe up to 3 more weeks to prepare for that! I want to get in all the sleep I possibly can until she gets here!!

So I guess this is me saying goodbye sleep, you will be and already are, missed.