I have had a lot of experience with kids. I started babysitting when I was eleven, helped in the church nursery when I was little, I have two nephews who mean the world to me, and I am a nanny to incredibly spoiled, difficult twins. However, as any new mom would be (and should be!) I have many fears of parenting and taking care of a child of my own. It has recently hit me (hard) that if all goes according to plan, in a few short months, I will be faced with these fears. It's now mid-November (it was just July yesterday!!) and our sweet baby girl is due in early March. So it sounds like a good idea to jot down these worries I have, and see how they turned out after she gets here. Here goes...
- The big one. Breastfeeding. I won't get into the details on this one. But I want this so badly for myself and my daughter. For the bond, the quick(er) weight loss, the convenience, the nutrients it gives her, and the affordability. But my patience and low tolerance for pain are what scares me here...
-Cloth diapering. Yep, that's right- I'm out of my mind. :-) I am committed to cloth diaper my child. For many reasons. A few being: they're better for her skin, better for the environment, saves money each month and with each child we have (we want 3), & they're just cuter! I will be using the "Flip" system, a one-size diaper, and I am already stocked up on shells & inserts so the only cost it will be to me now is an increase in my electric & water bills. Which shouldn't be too significant. The work is what scares me now!
-Deciding how to keep her distanced from negative friends & family that aren't good for her to be around. Thankfully Shane and I totally agree in this area. We don't want her around drinking, smoking, & swearing. And we don't want her around people that have a negative infuence on her. Family or not. So we plan to talk to the person if there's a problem, and if that doesn't work- unfortunately, distance her from them. 'Nuff said.
-Teaching her religion. We want her to know our beliefs, but know that it's completely ok for her to disagree with our beliefs.
So having said all that, those are definitely not all of my fears. But they are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. We hope to raise a kind, considerate, respectful, wise, and independent young woman. And we realize that getting her to that point is going to be tough, but soooo rewarding. :-)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Control Freak
I have recently come to the realization, after a year & a half of Shane trying to tell me, that I am a control freak and I have a mild case of OCD. Or, instead of diagnosing myself, I'll let you decide.... here are some of my "must happens":
1. Locks. I don't know what made me this way, but I am extremely afraid. All the time. My car doors get locked the second I step out (doesn't matter where I am.) Both deadbolts on the apartment door get locked when I'm inside (and of course when I'm gone.) I even like the bedroom door to be locked when we're sleeping, and I lock the screen door when the sliding glass door is open... This is the one Shane hates the most b/c he doesn't lock ANYthing.
2. The hangers in the closet. All hangers with nothing hanging on them must be kept to the left of the clothing...
3. The radio volume. Must be on an even number.
4. Trash in the apartment. I HATE any kind of trash laying around. It must be moved to the trashcan immediately or I'll go crazy.
5. Blinds. All blinds must be kept open during the day and closed at night.
6. Phone logs. Each person in my call logs can only be listed once.
7. The mail. I have to take the outgoing mail to the mailbox immediately after it's ready.
8. Bills. All bills must be paid the day I get paid. Which is not all bad, I have never paid a bill a single day late. They are always early, sometimes weeks early.
9. Vitamins. Shane and I both must take our vitamins every day before bed or I won't know what to do with myself.
10. The dogs' nails. I cut them as sooooon as they are too long. I can't stand it when they aren't done right away.
11. My hair. I wash my hair every 2-3 days, and use a special conditioner once every 2 weeks. Which is not like me at all, because if you know me, I could care less about the way I look.
12. The toothpaste. Must be in the top drawer immediately after use.
So all that said, I realize I need to relax. It's ironic because other things don't bother me at all. "Piles" of things around the apartment, clothes on the floor, spontaneous activities, the shower being a mess, etc. Those things I could care less about. Hopefully Kynzie will help me, because I won't have the time or energy to keep up with all of my "OCD-isms".... So do I have a problem??? I'd say so. And it's resulted in a lot of added stress to myself and to Shane & I's relationship. We have had countless arguments about these things. But I'm not ready to let go.... :-/
1. Locks. I don't know what made me this way, but I am extremely afraid. All the time. My car doors get locked the second I step out (doesn't matter where I am.) Both deadbolts on the apartment door get locked when I'm inside (and of course when I'm gone.) I even like the bedroom door to be locked when we're sleeping, and I lock the screen door when the sliding glass door is open... This is the one Shane hates the most b/c he doesn't lock ANYthing.
2. The hangers in the closet. All hangers with nothing hanging on them must be kept to the left of the clothing...
3. The radio volume. Must be on an even number.
4. Trash in the apartment. I HATE any kind of trash laying around. It must be moved to the trashcan immediately or I'll go crazy.
5. Blinds. All blinds must be kept open during the day and closed at night.
6. Phone logs. Each person in my call logs can only be listed once.
7. The mail. I have to take the outgoing mail to the mailbox immediately after it's ready.
8. Bills. All bills must be paid the day I get paid. Which is not all bad, I have never paid a bill a single day late. They are always early, sometimes weeks early.
9. Vitamins. Shane and I both must take our vitamins every day before bed or I won't know what to do with myself.
10. The dogs' nails. I cut them as sooooon as they are too long. I can't stand it when they aren't done right away.
11. My hair. I wash my hair every 2-3 days, and use a special conditioner once every 2 weeks. Which is not like me at all, because if you know me, I could care less about the way I look.
12. The toothpaste. Must be in the top drawer immediately after use.
So all that said, I realize I need to relax. It's ironic because other things don't bother me at all. "Piles" of things around the apartment, clothes on the floor, spontaneous activities, the shower being a mess, etc. Those things I could care less about. Hopefully Kynzie will help me, because I won't have the time or energy to keep up with all of my "OCD-isms".... So do I have a problem??? I'd say so. And it's resulted in a lot of added stress to myself and to Shane & I's relationship. We have had countless arguments about these things. But I'm not ready to let go.... :-/
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'm getting really bad at updating this. It will probably end up just like all the others & get neglected and eventually deleted. But I'll keep trying! Tomorrow is our gender appointment and I am incredibly nervous. Though I can't wait to see the baby again. And this time on 3D! Ultrasounds are always so much fun and the best part is the joy on Shane's face each time. I will be honest, I am 95% sure it's a boy. First reason being, because I want a girl so badly. And second reason being, the midwife definitely saw something indicating the sex on Monday's ultrasound. I don't even want to call that an ultrasound. That office is so unorganized and looks to me to know what they're doing. The midwife came in, sat down, and said "How far along are you?" Umm.... I don't know exactly. I have heard like 5 different due dates. "Well what did we tell you at your last ultrasound?" I haven't had an ultrasound here. "You haven't? We have to do an ultrasound then." (Glad she was so excited about it.) And she FLEW through that ultrasound. Not to mention it was extremely low quality. And we were told that they would tell us the gender if they saw it so as to save us 100 bucks on tomorrow's appointment. Nope. She saw the gender and quickly said "We're not gonna do the gender today. Next time." What??? Shane said, "you can't even tell us what you THINK it is?" And she said "No. We're not doing that today, it's not my specialty. You'll know in 2 weeks." Ughhh. That woman is not delivering my child. That's fine that she didn't want to be wrong about the gender, but she could have been nicer about it.
Anyway, we had a BLAST on an ice cream date last night with Drew & Cassie Jackson. I laughed so much my face was hurting. And beforehand, to kill some time, we went to Target to browse, not planning on spending any money. Somehow we walked out having spent 70 bucks on a Pumpkin Spice candle, and 2 paintings. Whoops! :) We knew we shouldn't have.
Work has been e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-n-g. The babies I nanny are incredibly spoiled and good lord, it shows. Carter has been screaming the second I put him down, and they're 7 months old yet occasionally eating solids and bottle-feeding small amounts every 2 hours. The dad told me they no longer want me give them larger amounts every 3 hours. It's quite ridiculous and makes the job much more stressful than it should be.
On a more positive note, I think I'm in the clear as far as nausea!! I only threw up a total of two times so far but I was getting sick every time I got hungry. So from 9 weeks to about 16 weeks, I was siiiiick. But for a week now, I have been feeling great! The doctor put me on Zantac which makes a world of difference as far as heartburn. And my only complaint is I feel huge. My belly pushes up when I sit down and it's very uncomfortable. My skin feels so stretched out. And I'm only 17 weeks! Yikes! :) Well that does it for this post, on to an episode of Lost. :o)
Anyway, we had a BLAST on an ice cream date last night with Drew & Cassie Jackson. I laughed so much my face was hurting. And beforehand, to kill some time, we went to Target to browse, not planning on spending any money. Somehow we walked out having spent 70 bucks on a Pumpkin Spice candle, and 2 paintings. Whoops! :) We knew we shouldn't have.
Work has been e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-n-g. The babies I nanny are incredibly spoiled and good lord, it shows. Carter has been screaming the second I put him down, and they're 7 months old yet occasionally eating solids and bottle-feeding small amounts every 2 hours. The dad told me they no longer want me give them larger amounts every 3 hours. It's quite ridiculous and makes the job much more stressful than it should be.
On a more positive note, I think I'm in the clear as far as nausea!! I only threw up a total of two times so far but I was getting sick every time I got hungry. So from 9 weeks to about 16 weeks, I was siiiiick. But for a week now, I have been feeling great! The doctor put me on Zantac which makes a world of difference as far as heartburn. And my only complaint is I feel huge. My belly pushes up when I sit down and it's very uncomfortable. My skin feels so stretched out. And I'm only 17 weeks! Yikes! :) Well that does it for this post, on to an episode of Lost. :o)
Monday, September 20, 2010
Fall & My Best Friend
SO glad it's fall!! My favorite season. There are so many thing to look forward to this fall! f.e. my birthday, finding out the gender of the baby, the crisp fresh air, cool nights, cute clothes (even if they are maternity!), boots!, the avett concert, feeling the baby kick for the first time, beautiful fall colors, & Thanksgiving! :)
Thought I'd take a moment to publically show appreciation to my beau and best friend. Shane, I am so thankful for every time you have dinner ready for me when I get home, every time you bring me things from the kitchen because I'm just being lazy, when you take the dogs out at night because I'm scared of the dark, when you call and text me just to tell me I'm beautiful and that you love me. Thank you for listening to me, holding me as I cry for no reason at all, putting up with all my frustrations at work, for all the kisses and hugs. Thank you for cleaning the apartment because you say it's "OUR job", not just mine. Thank you for doing the dishes the last 2 months or so, for being so respectful and loving to my family, for taking care of me when I don't feel well, for calling to check up on me at work if you haven't heard from me in a while, and on & on. I am so grateful for you and every sacrifice you make to be sure I'm happy. I know I'm a very difficult person to be in a relationship with, but you stick by me through everything. I can't wait to see your first loving look at our child, and the amazing daddy and provider I am confident you will be. You are an amazing man, so sensitive to my needs and wants, and you will be an even better daddy. I love you. "I'll be on the other end, to hear you when you call. You were born to fly, and if you get too high, I will catch you when you fall. Take every chance you dare, I will still be there when you come back down."
Thought I'd take a moment to publically show appreciation to my beau and best friend. Shane, I am so thankful for every time you have dinner ready for me when I get home, every time you bring me things from the kitchen because I'm just being lazy, when you take the dogs out at night because I'm scared of the dark, when you call and text me just to tell me I'm beautiful and that you love me. Thank you for listening to me, holding me as I cry for no reason at all, putting up with all my frustrations at work, for all the kisses and hugs. Thank you for cleaning the apartment because you say it's "OUR job", not just mine. Thank you for doing the dishes the last 2 months or so, for being so respectful and loving to my family, for taking care of me when I don't feel well, for calling to check up on me at work if you haven't heard from me in a while, and on & on. I am so grateful for you and every sacrifice you make to be sure I'm happy. I know I'm a very difficult person to be in a relationship with, but you stick by me through everything. I can't wait to see your first loving look at our child, and the amazing daddy and provider I am confident you will be. You are an amazing man, so sensitive to my needs and wants, and you will be an even better daddy. I love you. "I'll be on the other end, to hear you when you call. You were born to fly, and if you get too high, I will catch you when you fall. Take every chance you dare, I will still be there when you come back down."
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
12 weeks
Let me just start by saying, I am so relieved to be done with my first trimester in just 2 days!! I will be 13 weeks on Thursday & I am feeling much better. My nausea & fatigue are slowly starting to leave my body. And I am showing, which is very uncomfortable yet exciting! Heartburn is getting worse, but I will take that over nausea any day!
This past weekend was a blast. We got SO much done. I had a dr appt, we spring cleaned (window sills, ceiling fans, everything!), organized our bills & papers, bathed the dogs, went to the lake twice, spent Sunday with the family, weeded through our closet & gave garbage bags of clothing to Goodwill, Shane hung the bikes on the porch, got all the laundry done, rearranged our bedroom, we watched like 5 episodes of Lost... it was AWESOME! Until.... last night. :) I had horrible heartburn & got super dizzy. My fingers were tingling, the room looked like it was spinning, I was light headed, etc. I still felt just as bad this morning but I'm just now starting to feel a little better.
Regardless, so thankful I can feel hungry & not feel like I'm going to throw up everywhere. :)
This past weekend was a blast. We got SO much done. I had a dr appt, we spring cleaned (window sills, ceiling fans, everything!), organized our bills & papers, bathed the dogs, went to the lake twice, spent Sunday with the family, weeded through our closet & gave garbage bags of clothing to Goodwill, Shane hung the bikes on the porch, got all the laundry done, rearranged our bedroom, we watched like 5 episodes of Lost... it was AWESOME! Until.... last night. :) I had horrible heartburn & got super dizzy. My fingers were tingling, the room looked like it was spinning, I was light headed, etc. I still felt just as bad this morning but I'm just now starting to feel a little better.
Regardless, so thankful I can feel hungry & not feel like I'm going to throw up everywhere. :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
Limbo
I feel like I'm in a stagnant, limbo-like phase of pregnancy. I don't feel like I'm getting much bigger (at least not in my belly if you know what I mean...) I actually think I've gotten smaller because my bloating is gone. And my nausea, I think, is starting to settle down. (yay!) Yet my fatigue is still awful. Shane & I have been walking a mile every night after dinner and that has helped a lot. Then Monday we are going to start doing 30 minutes in the gym on top of that. I feel so lazy :) but I know the more I work out now, the easier labor will be and the less I'll have to work out after Sponge arrives. Oh, so if that makes no sense: we have been calling the baby "Sponge" :) We have been trying not to swear around the baby, as kids absorb words like sponges. haha. Just a joke that kinda stuck.
Anyway, work has only gotten worse so I am looking for a new job, which I doubt I will get. And that's pretty much what's going through my head today. I am overwhelmed and ready to take another nap!
Anyway, work has only gotten worse so I am looking for a new job, which I doubt I will get. And that's pretty much what's going through my head today. I am overwhelmed and ready to take another nap!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
And the "beat" goes on...
Let me just start by saying, yesterday was amazing. I had the coolest experience I have ever had in my life & it probably always will be. At 9:30am, I saw [evidence of] my firstborn child for the first time. Going to the appointment I was incredibly nervous. I felt it would be too good to be true if everything was going well with this pregnancy. I was shaking going in, and you can ask Shane, I had the jitters anticipating going back into that exam room. What if there was no heartbeat? What if the baby was growing in the fallopian tube? Or what if there was no baby at all? Thank God, none of these was true. Seeing that wiggling baby on the screen was an out-of-body experience. I was overwhelmed with joy, relief, disbelief, and comfort. And seeing Shane jump up with a huge grin on his face to touch my hand & take pictures on his phone was awesome. He is so supportive and I could not ask for a better father for my child. That little white "blob" was the cause of my fatigue, nausea, headaches, heartburn, and anxiety. And I could not be more thankful for him or her. I could have watched that sweet, innocent baby move around all day long. And seeing that heart beat at 150 beats a minute was exactly what I needed. How can you love someone so much that you have never even met?
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