A Love as Deep as This

My Kynzie Girl,


I should be folding laundry right now.... but I have the rest of my life to do laundry. I'm trying very hard as I raise you to stop and smell the roses and enjoy each minute with you every single day. Everything else can wait, and my whole world dims when I embrace a moment with you. I am overwhelmed with love for you right now. I thought I fully understood love before you came along, but it turns out I had no idea what an unconditional, deep, painful love was. It's official. I am crazy about you and I can't get enough of you. I put you down for a nap or bed, and 10 minutes later I just want to watch you sleep or wake you up to talk to you and show you new things. When I met you I instantly loved you, but it was nothing like this. I loved you at first I think just because I was supposed to. I didn't know you. For a while you were just like any other baby to me. But now I have learned you. I know what makes you mad, what makes you smile, and what interests you. Your little big personality is really starting to come out and the love I have for you is seriously hurting me. It hurts horribly to love someone this much and I have never known that feeling before. Whenever I think of you growing up I find myself crying hysterically. Some day a boy will break your heart, a "friend" will make fun of you, you will move away, and there will be times you don't like me. This kills me.

I am learning so much about you. When you cry, you are tired or want Mommy. You still won't let any one else hold you (sometimes Grandma and Jordan :)) but that's ok. You hate going to sleep because you don't want to miss a thing. You LOVE hugs and eating. :-) You would eat all day long if I let you. You get so excited over the smallest things and it reminds me to stop and take a breath in those busy days. You have shown me how strong I am, and also my weak points. You have taught me what tough love is, how to be selfless, and that it's ok if I'm not always in control of everything.

I will ALWAYS be here for you. I will support you in every decision you ever make, even if I don't agree with it. And I will always make the best decisions I possibly can for you. I will be your friend when you need one, I will listen to your problems, and hold you when a stupid boy breaks your heart. I will tell you I love you a million times a day. I will give you the best advice and answers I can, and I promise to be honest and say "I don't know", when I don't. I will ask you how your day was, and truly care about the answer.

Not only do I love you, I also like you. You are so smart, sweet, and beautiful. Don't ever forget how much I love you, because I will never stop loving you.

Mommy