Nowhere Near Perfect and Shouldn't be Trying

I think one of the biggest things women struggle with is envy. I will be the first to admit that I do. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. That jealous jerk that lives in your head and is constantly starting each thought with "I wish I had..." or "If I was more like her..." Yep see, now you know what I mean and you can totally relate. Do [straight] guys think these things? Probably not in the same way. I doubt they look at other guys' shoes and say "Oh man if I only had his shoes..." I know Shane will be the first to tell you that he often thinks, "Man I wish we had more money so we could have a house like (insert name here)" but it's just not quite the same.

If I had a quarter for every time I decided I wanted something or to change my personality to be more like (again insert name here), I would be filthy rich. I constantly find myself doing this lately and it's always when we're hurting for money. If we really went green with envy, I would be the truest, nastiest green you can imagine. Allow me to get this all out and bid it adieu. I want nicer shoes, enough clothes so I don't have to wear the same thing twice a week, a nicer car that has awesome air conditioning, some kind of toy or furniture for my daughter that we don't have to give back to whoever loaned it to us, lots of food to fill our pantry so I don't have to ask Shane things like, "What can we make with peanut butter, ketchup, rice, and spaghetti noodles?" (Yes, "barf" is right.)

But that's not the worst of it. It's much more of a problem when this jealous jerk attacks my desire for personality changes. I want to be funny like her, more social like her, a better cook like her, domestic like her, creative like her, etc etc etc. I'm drowning in these thoughts. Granted, I always catch myself thinking these things and say to myself, "Nope. Tonight I'm me." But somehow Jealous Jerk always creeps back in.

Please join me in trying to accept ourselves. Not just accepting but LIKING who we are. I can bet that the people we are trying to be more like are doing the exact same thing and wish they were more like someone else. We all have our insecurities, but we won't truly be happy until we look these insecurities straight in the eye and tell them to shove it.